Beep.

“We focus on a sense of community and — ”

Beep.

“– our offices and that generation seems –”

Beep.

“– really well –”

Beep.

I was in the middle of a phone interview, and I was starting to get pissed. It was bad enough that both kids were awake while I was trying to do an interview (thank you, fruit snacks and Wild Kratts and also more fruit snacks), but now I was dealing with a husband who felt it was necessary to call me 1,000 times in a row when I didn’t pick up the phone the first six times.

Take a hint, dude. I’m not available.

So, I was typing a Facebook message to STOP CALLING — while also still trying to listen to my source and ask intelligent questions — when Reasonable Kasey took over and it occurred to me that Chris isn’t in the habit of calling me incessantly unless there is a very good reason. And then I knew. Either he:

1) Fell down a well and needed aid ASAP

or

2) HE GOT THE JOB

A quick Facebook message confirmed that it was Option 2. Here is our very dignified and adult conversation. Please remember that I’m still on the phone at this particular point.

Weirdly, I’m actually in the habit of missing phone calls from him when he has big job news. When he originally got his job in Indiana, I was working and left my phone in the car ALL DAY by accident while he was freaking out and dying to tell me. I got the news over Gchat at the end of the day, and ended up flipping my desk chair in the middle of the newsroom in my excitement.

My response to this news was similarly measured.

I am NOT PROUD of this next part. I really am not. And for anyone reading this who ever wants to consider hiring me, I swear I am a professional. I swear I never do this. This was the first (and only) time I’ve done this.

I, um, “dropped” the call. Called Chris. SCREAMED. Danced around. For 90 seconds. Asked about a dozen rapid-fire questions (the answer to all of which was “I don’t know,” because he’d just found out. Via E-MAIL. Can we talk for a second about how INSANE it is that the government sends life-changing news like YOU ARE MOVING TO ITALY by E-MAIL? No? Ok, maybe we’ll come back to that later.)

And then I remembered that I needed to be an adult, called my source back and apologized for losing her somehow (guilt guilt guilt) and somehow finished the interview in what I hope — but doubt — was a normal voice.